Wishes for My 34th Birthday

As usual,  I always convince myself that birthday is not a special day. I don't have to celebrate it coz when it comes to my birthday... it means that I am getting old.  That's it.  Well,  I know... everybody is getting older every minute every second,  but repeating the birthday every year... just feels like I am getting too much old. 

Yeah... I am only human....an ordinary woman. The more I try to convince myself,  the more my mind got tortured.  Hmmm... I still hope for a special surprise from my husband or my family.  I always dream that on my birthday, there will be a flower,  special dinner, special holiday trip....or even just a special birthday wishes note on the social media,  just to show to the world how much he loves me...how much he feels so grateful to have me. But,  once more I say... it is JUST A DREAM...only in my imagination.  

I am turning into 34 years old today. What is the meaning of 34 for me? 

34 is a struggle year for me. 

The first is.... I am striving to pay off all my debts. We already have had a house,  but it hasn't been entirely ours. We still have debt to the bank and to the former house's owner. We really think out loud how to earn money in this pandemic and we safe more money than what we spend. We really scrimp.  

The second is... I am trying to have the second child.  Well,  you know, I always wish to have a daughter, a pretty and sholehah girl.  

The third is...  I am trying to make my family happier especially my parents,  a couple of an angle and a hero in my life. I hope that I can share more good things for my family. 

The fourth is... I am struggling to lose the fat on my stomach. My body weight increased and I become so easily to get tired and get sick with this fat. And physically,  my body look so bad when I wear certain clothes.

The fifth is.... I am trying to be better at work.  

Actually,  there are many more things that I want to say on this note, but I forgot.  I will share it later when I remember them. 

I hope everything wil get better.... and I wake up tomorrow with a sunshine on my face. ☀🌻